What I meant to say was...

A few years ago, we dropped my daughter off for her first day of kindergarten. It was exactly as I'd expected it would be. Filled with both sadness and pride, fear and promise. The school principal in his infinite wisdom, invited all the sniffling, waving parents to the library to sit in tiny chairs and write letters to our little ones. Letters he suggested giving to them perhaps upon graduation or some other such tear-jerking event.

The letter has been sealed in anticipation of just such a day, since I wrote it and my recolection of what I jotted down between laughter and tears has faded. But I was thinking the other day about what I SHOULD have written. Some truths and surprises that she could actually use as true wisdom... or not.

1) Telling you the truth about Santa was much harder than you know.

2) Sometimes I knew what you were up to but decided not to intervene either because I chose to let you make your own mistake or because I was just too exhausted to get involved.

3) Yes I did eat the last cookie.

4) Much of parenting is learning how to make hypocracy work. "Do not as I do" is a tough justification to make.

5) I threw out your old, broken McDonalds toys.

6) While watching you sleep, I was often overwhelmed by my love for you.

7) Yes, sometimes your stories got old and no, you weren't always the smartest one in the class. But you were ALWAYS the most important thing in my whole world.

8) More than once, I had to struggle to keep a straight face when scolding you.

9) I really DO just hope that you choose a path that both enlightens you AND makes you joyful.

10) You won't know the true depth of any of this until you have a child of your own.